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"So I thought if we had any room in the forties we could expand the Red
Sox trade coverage--Danny, what are you watching?"
"Um. Some organizing show."
Casey rolled his eyes. "Why? Not that you couldn't use a professional
organizing crew. Not that you couldn't use a wrecking ball--"
"Hey! Just because I don’t arrange my underwear by color doesn't make me
disorganized."
"If you think I'm commenting on your underwear, you're sadly
mistaken."
"Shh. She's sorting her perfume. I think she's going to cry."
"And I repeat, why?"
Dan shrugged. "I had some time on my hands."
"Ah, I see. You're mocking me because you have your half of the script done
and I don't."
"Mocking you?"
"You're mocking me."
"Would I mock you?"
"Does that question need an answer?"
"Oh, look! Hair accessories. Wow, that's a big box. How many comb thingies
does one woman need?"
Casey turned back to the computer screen. They needed some commentary on the
trade. He typed, "Dan and Casey banter," and then thought better of
it. He and Dan bantered regularly. They bantered during commercial breaks, in
rundowns, and even when Dana threatened them with death if they didn't shut up.
But any time he planned banter for the show, they both just kind of...dried up.
It was embarrassing, really.
"What are those things?"
"Hm? Oh, they're those hair things. You know." Casey gestured vaguely.
"Scrunchies."
"Scrunchies?"
"Scrunchies. Yeah. Scrunchies."
"Huh." Dan was completely absorbed now. "Look at all those
colors. Black and stuff I get, but purple? Zebra-striped? I think that one is
sparkly."
"Sparkly?"
"Yes, and she wants to keep it! She's really attached to these."
"Scrunchies are important to a woman."
"And you know this from your vast experience in being a woman."
"I know this from having a wife for ten years."
"Aha." There was blissful silence for a moment, then Dan asked,
"So what is it about the scrunchy that makes it so essential?"
"Something about elastic maybe? I don't know. Ask a woman."
On cue, Natalie stuck her head in the door. "Hi, guys. What're you
doing?"
"Pondering the nature of the scrunchy," Dan said.
"You're what?"
"Dan wants to know why women like scrunchies so much."
"Oh." Natalie made the same gesture Casey had. "The elastic in
them isn't as hard on your hair as rubber bands, so they're healthier."
Dan looked thoughtful. Casey looked smug.
"Now that we're done discussing hair accessories, maybe you two could get
back to, I don't know, doing a television show?" Natalie suggested
cheerfully.
Dan obediently switched the channel. Casey went back to typing. Then he stopped
and reread his last sentence.
The trade, which includes one scrunchy to be named later...
"Danny? You are never allowed to watch that show again."
--the end--