Rating: PG

Usual disclaimers apply: I own nothing but the story.

ACT OF DEVOTION by Jayne Leitch
2004

Zach presses his mouth to the underside of her jaw, half-kissing and half-panting, then rolls away and lands heavily on his back beside her. Bianca runs her hands through her hair while she gets her own breath back, feels the sheet settle over her body, and wonders how long he'll lie still before leaving the bed this time.

She's sore tonight. She weighs how much she wants to know why. "Hey."

He doesn't answer. Bianca rolls her head on her pillow, and in the low light sees his face is turned away from her. His right arm is out from under the blanket, his palm flat on his forehead, his fingers scratching absently through his hair. He's still breathing hard, the rise and fall of his chest making the sheet twitch. "*Hey.* Look at me, Alex."

She's gotten out of the habit of calling him that, except during sex, and the effect is immediate: his breath hitches, his hand drops, he turns his head and looks at her...but then his gaze falters, slides away, and he's looking past her at nothing when he finally speaks. "What?"

"*Look* at me." Bianca knows how she sounds, but she doesn't like the feeling that he's trying not to be in the room with her. When he still doesn't focus, she reaches out and touches his face, feels him flinch before he blinks darkly over at her. "Tell me what you're thinking."

His cheek is warm and a little sweat-damp under her fingers; she feels him swallow, then has to drop her hand as he sits up. "What are you doing, Bianca?" When she opens her mouth to answer, he shakes his head. "No, that's what I'm thinking. You want to know; I want to know. What the *hell* are you doing?"

"You're questioning me now?" Bianca pulls herself up until she's leaning against the headboard, until the sheet has fallen into a puddle around her lap. She feels air on her skin, and then gooseflesh. "*Now?* Zach, come on. Don't you think it's a little late to be examining motives?"

He stares at her, hard-eyed, like they're facing off over his desk. "You like this. You *want* this. I never know *why*."

Bianca arches an eyebrow. "You never had to know why, though, did you?" she says, and it sounds exactly as casually cutting as it has in her head every time she's thought about this inevitable conversation. The triumph is exactly as hollow as she's imagined it, too, and she knows Zach can tell because he *softens*, and moves as if to touch her.

He pulls his hand away just in time for the sensation to be nothing more than a movement of air. "No, I never had to know why."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Penance: an act of devotion performed voluntarily to show sorrow for a sin or other wrongdoing.

End.

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