Walkabout
An Alias fanfic by JenC
Disclaimer: "I am not a
crook!" . . . Whoops! Wrong
disclaimer. Sorry 'bout that, folks.
"Alias" and the characters therein are
the property of J. J. Abrams, Bad Robot, and
other Very Important People. |
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Rating: G
Summary: Just a little musing from Laura Bristow,
on the night of the
'accident'
Spoilers: Q & A, just to be on the safe side
Feedback: I'd love some! jen@fanfic101.com
Archive: Credit
Dauphine and Fanfic101--everywhere
else, please ask first
***
"Goodnight--" Laura Bristow's hand
hovered above her little girl's head.
Sweat had gummed Sydney's bangs to her forehead, and one
fist lay curled on
the pillow against her cheek.
"So big, so soon . . ." It wasn't meant
to happen. She, the child, wasn't
meant to happen. Yet she existed, breathed, cried,
laughed.
"I'll miss you. Know that, Sydney."
No time for tears; there hadn't ever
been time for tears. She slipped her purse over her
shoulder and strode
out of the room, turning off the light as she went.
Someday her child would ask why. Might even know
enough to ask other
questions, questions that had no real answer.
Was there love? Not in the happily-ever sense,
obviously. She gnawed at
her lip, steered the car down the drive with the
headlights out. She'd
never understood the idea of love, or duty, or greed.
She thought about what she would tell her child, if the
chance ever came.
Let it be said of me, I did what I did out of
need. I needed something
that was mine alone, and when it walked into my life, I
seized it with both
hands and hung on. I became the job, I became the
lie. I became a shadow
of myself, and it consumed me. No emotion, not
hatred or valor. I chose
this path until it chose me, and then I could only follow
it to its
conclusion.
You were not meant to be a part of that, Sydney.
You caught me by
surprise, and as your tiny life clung and grew in me, I
found I could not
let you go, either. You sustained me, as I
sustained you, a promise of a
future I would never see.
One good, true thing out of the shadow.
She hefted the purse, weighted down with one of Jack's
paperweights so it
wouldn't float away when the car submerged. A car
squealed into position
right behind her, and she allowed herself a little
smile. Right on time.
Farewell, daughter.
[Fin]
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