The A Word
by Celli Lane

Feedback: Positive or negative both welcome. celli@fanfic101.com
Category: PWP; humor; futurefic.
Rating: NC-17.
Pairing: Clark/Lex.
Spoiler: Nope. Brief Justice League mention.
Summary: Clark learns the...benefits...of accrual.
Archiving: Ask and I'll probably say yes.
Disclaimer: Smallville and its residents belong to Millar Gough Ink, Warner Brothers, DC Comics, and other assorted people with lawyers. Bummer.


"So, can I deduct the suit?" Clark asked, running a finger up Lex's back.

"Cost and cleaning of uniforms, deductible business expense," Lex said absently. He hitched his glasses up a bit. Clark was never sure if they were for reading purposes or just to turn him on. "Form 2106. As long as you can prove you wouldn't normally wear them in everyday--" He stopped and looked at Clark. "Never mind. Not an issue."

"The glasses?"

"As long as no one notices you don't need them, yeah. Deductible medical expenses. Of course, those are limited. You have to subtract seven and a half percent of your adjusted gross income first." Lex frowned and pushed at the glasses again. "Dammit, I lost my place." He pulled the calculator closer. "Your retirement plans are a disaster. Your dividends are in three different places. And why you can't just keep your receipts in a shoebox like everyone else, I don't know. Plus, even as a superhero, is there any reason not to use the cash method of accounting? Accrual is just--"

"Lex?"

"Yeah?"

There was a whoosh of air, and Lex was flat on his back, a couple of copies of the Publication 17 thoughtfully cushioning his head. "Say accrual again."

Lex's eyes darkened. "Accrual."

"Mmm..." Clark's hands were busy on the button of Lex's slacks. "You just keep talking taxes, and I'm gonna blow you, okay?"

"Um. Okay. Um..." Lex's voice wavered. "It's important to remember that charitable deductions need to be documented if you make a donation of more than $250 at one time. And goods and services can be...Jesus, Clark...can be deducted at their fair market value...oh, God..."


"I love to hear about fair market value." Clark's breath was hot through Lex's shirt. He shuddered, feeling Clark's lips through the silk. "Is that like blue book value?"

"No, really, it's more of, um..." Lex was amazed that his mouth was still moving. He laced his fingers into Clark's hair and didn't guide him so much as follow along. "It's just what it says, what you could get for it on the open market...fuck, Clark, just like that...if you sold it..."

"Mm-hm?" Clark's interested hum made Lex's eyes cross.

"Can I stop talking now, please?"

Clark lifted his head, dislodging Lex's hands. Lex bit down until he tasted blood. He was *not* going to beg Clark to keep going. He wasn't.

"Oh, no. Keep talking." Clark's lips were moist and his eyes were shining with something approaching smugness. Lex made a note to kick his ass soon. "I want to hear more about accrual."

"Fuck you." Lex's voice was hoarse. Clark just smiled. And didn't fucking *move.*

"Accrual, Lex."

"Accrual." Lex licked the blood off his lip and tried to order his brain back into play. Only with Clark did it shut down this far, this fast. "Okay. Wally uses the cash method of accounting, right? So if he buys a new costume in December and it's delivered in January, he deducts it for December because that's when he wrote the check."

"And bounced it, probably. Wally's not very good with money."

"Clark. I don't *care.*"

Clark ran one finger along the underside of Lex's cock. Lex whimpered. "I haven't heard the A word."

"When *you* buy a new cape, or wreck the Fortress and have to repair it - again - you deduct it in the year it happens, not the year you pay for it. Because your first accountant was obviously on crack."

"My first accountant was Batman."

"Well, that's your problem. Never let a paranoid insomniac vigilante do your taxes. Anyway, *your* method of doing things is accrual."

It was indeed the magic word. One large, warm hand settled on each of Lex's hips, and Clark returned to his blowjob duties.

"I suppose in a lot of ways it's more accurate," Lex said to the ceiling as Clark all but swallowed him whole, "but it's much harder to keep track of. And it's most effective for people who have to write off a lot of bad debt...God, Clark, your tongue...but not many people stiff Superman, so...oh, fuck. Please, Clark? *Please*?"

Clark's tongue hit just the right spot, and Lex's vision grayed out as he came.

When sight and hearing returned, Clark was leaning on the desk next to him, running one hand soothingly over Lex's stomach. "You've convinced me," he said.

"I what?"

"I should definitely switch to the cash method of accounting."

"Oh?" Lex settled his glasses back into place. "Uh, you should?"

"Absolutely." Clark leaned down to kiss Lex. "But only if you promise to always do my taxes with your pants off."


Photos from www.thewb.com and used without permission.

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